i think this is what jet lag would feel like, but i dont know since planes are part of my neurosis. got put onto a temporary contract for christmas at work - pay cut but a final bonus at the end of the contract and my hours are secure. at least i think thats how it works, i honestly wasnt listening. all i know is im working practically everyday and im already exhausted. feels good to earn my keep though.

im totally late on the big bang theory, but it completely sates my inner (and outer) geek. like, really. i think im in love with either leonard or sheldon. both probably. funniest show ive seen in a while. i love anything original. still hitting snags whichever road i go down but im working it out - “i’ll take the machete. machetes never run out of bullets.”

LEK is still my favo(u)rite thing ever. i hope you all signed up to the link posted earlier, its for something special that we’ll let you know about later. “take one for the team, you all know what i mean.”

not listening to anything new. old taking back sunday and green day are dominating my most played playlist. lonely, lonely. jesus of suburbia.

been thinking about writing but my mouth does the talking and my fingers wont do the walking. im scared that i am all hype and i will never live up to your/their expectations. i am searching for faith like a needle in a haystack - i cant quite grab a hold of it but im always getting pricked. draw blood. i am dreaming of someone who would love me despite how i sometimes wake up screaming. like cristina and owen from grey’s anatomy. yeah, im secretly into grey’s like woah. maybe it’s cos im a faggot. i dont remember.

sorry you read all this, since im actually pretty boring. good night or good morning.